Aussie Ostrich

Sarah shared this with the blog, and I think the best way to explain it is in her own words...

Okay, I really have no one to blame for this but myself. Or maybe I could blame the woman who was hawking them a couple of days before Australia Day? However, once I did buy it, I thought of how it would be perfect for the Tatwars blog...

Green and gold (traditional Aussie colours) bird pen with a lovely green felt hat on. The tag dangling from it's beak is the worst part, I think - Aussie Ostrich. Australia doesn't even have ostriches natively!

Of course, Sarah, you should look at this as an opportunity.
Now, think of someone you know who'd be excited to receive a gift of it (Note: Not me!).

TatNuke

This, my dears, is what is known as a TatNuke. A TatNuke is basically the same as a TatBomb, but it is so large or horrible or both that it brings a halt to the current TatWar between two people. The TatWar can be restarted, of course, but TatNukes tend to be such a nasty shock to the recipient that it's considered fair to have a time-out period. I TatNuked my sister with this.

This is pretty much the maximum size for a traditional TatBomb, and cost the princely sum of £3.99 (from a charity shop - I would not normally pay that much for a TatNuke). Please note the dog with the humpback, the socks hanging on the mast, and the badly sculpted waves.

As ever, please email pictures of any tat you'd like to share to: tatwars@gmail.com

TatCat

This post (a present from her sister sent in by MadCarlotta) neatly illustrated a point I was intending to touch on - that of what a mistake it is, sometimes, to mention your likes.

There are some people who will, upon being informed of your liking of cats (or whatever), immediately file that information under the 'gift-giving' section. And then every gift you ever receive from them will in some way be related to your liking cats. These situations invariably end up with the pretence of delight when you are presented with something like this item.

Little Mermaid / Sad Clown

When she moved into her new house, I TatBombed my sister with this little gift: a Little Mermaid hair clip that flashes red. (It's also unphotographable, for some reason.)



After a few weeks, she returned the TatBomb with a birthday present.
I think it's supposed to be some sort of sad harlequin clown.




Email photos of your tat to: tatwars@gmail.com

Dirk

This is Dirk. Dirk is the new mascot of TatWars, and the ideal gift for someone who lives in Scotland - a nodding Scottie dog with an "I heart Scotland" collar tag. TatBombed me by my sister.

What is TatWars?

Dictionary.com describes the word tat, amongst other definitions, thusly:

tat
noun
1. Tastelessness by virtue of being cheap and vulgar

There are, among us, those people who are truly innocent. Who really think that cross-eyed, badly-painted china dogs are adorable. That the more glitter one can get on a simpering statuette of a fairy, the better. And all power to them. Tat has its place in society, and I cannot deny that.

However, there is a dark side. There are those tat aficionados who have a mysterious love/hate relationship with tat. Drawn to it by its sheer horror, the Sith of the tat continuum will purchase this object not for the pleasure of the aesthetics, but in order to pass it on to someone deemed (un)worthy enough to suffer it. The phrase "I knew you'd hate it!" is often invoked. The great thing about this approach is that tat, by definition, is cheap. This way one has the joy of the tat, at a low cost, and without having to live with the results.

This, my friends, is known as TatBombing.
If you make the mistake of TatBombing someone who will retaliate, you are likely to get into a full-blown TatWar. Things can get nasty. And we love it.

If you are the proud (or otherwise) owner of tat that you think should be shared with the world, please email pictures of it to: tatwars@gmail.com